Tag: Starting a Significant Experience Essay

How to Write the 2021 University of Texas Application Essays Part 1

How to Write the 2021 University of Texas Application Essays Part 1

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My hook for this post is the University of Texas application for 2020-2021, but I am also going to take a look at reusing essays selectively in your other applications, which can save a lot of time and work. There are a couple of venues for applying to the University of Texas, and in discussing these I will introduce (briefly) and compare several important application portals used in Texas, but also nationally. Lesson one: to write a great University of Texas essay, you actually start by taking a look at the alternative of using either the Texas application site or the Coalition Application site.

Like the University of California, Texas runs its own college application portal. But in addition to the Coalition and UT/Apply Texas portals, the good news is that you can write a great University of Texas essay and turn around to reuse it for some of the 800-plus colleges using the Common Application portal, with little or no reediting–if you watch your word counts and choose your prompts wisely.

Different Application Portals: Apply Texas

Goal #1 for applying to college in 2020-2021 is to look for ways to reuse essays. Which brings us to those application portals.

Apply Texas is the foundation of all Texas applications, but universities determine which prompts to use. Assuming you are applying to the University of Texas, you could go directly to the UT website, which shows a single prompt fo the longer personal essay. This prompt is also up as the “A” prompt on the Apply Texas portal, and it is the Apply Texas system that handles all the data and that stands behind the various Texas public university applications–it’s a bit like the way the University of California is set up as a single portal, but there is more variation in the application requirements for Texas. Technical and state colleges are included in Apply Texas, whereas in California, the Cal State university system has a portal that is entirely separate from the University of California system.

For an example of how the Apply Texas requirements can vary from school to school, UT Austin requires a full set of the Texas application essays, including using option A for that longer essay and several shorter essays of about 250 words. In contrast, Texas Tech “strongly suggests” that you write at least one of the required essays but does not require it.

Of course, if you are a serious applicant to Texas Tech: write all of the essays. When offered the chance to do more, you want to do more. It demonstrates commitment.

And this year, in particular: if you did not take the SAT or ACT before the Covid rules came into play, or want to retake because your scores are below the mnidle 50%, but don’t end up getting one of the limited seats available before apps are submitted (or you just don’t want to risk your own or your family’s health for another test) you will want as much positive material for that holistic application evaluation as possible, to make up for missing data from standardized tests.

The Next Portal: The Coalition Application

Next portal: That longer essay prompt for UT Austin, which is Prompt A for Apply Texas is actually shared with the Coalition Application. “Coalition” is the short name for The Coalition for College Access.This might seem odd until you look at the UT Austin site, where it tells you that you can use the Coalition portal to apply, and skip the UT/Apply Texas portal.

To clarify: you only use one portal to apply–you will apply either through the UT portal, which is supported by Apply Texas or you will apply to UT through the Coalition App portal, which also allows you to apply to other schools listed on the Coalition portal, both inside and outside of Texas. So the Coalition is accepted by UT but is not limited to Texas schools. The question then, is whether it covers all or most of the colleges you want to apply to.

How to choose? See if all the colleges you want are among those listed on the Coalition App–if they are, you will save a lot of time by filling out all that basic data from name and personal information through activities only once, instead of using diferent sites and pasting in and tinkering with the same basic information, data and short responses over, and over. Using a more national portal like the Coalition Application offers efficiency. But the Coalition Application itself is not the biggest of the portals available.

A Comparison to the Common Application

A big drawback of the Coalition App is its relatively short list of participating colleges. The Coalition has 151 schools participating for 2020-2021. Compare this to the Common Application, which will be used by 884 universites. Sadly, the Common Application is not accepted by UT, among many others, but the Common App’s reach does make it a portal you are likely to use at some point this year.

To be very clear: though the Common Application is indeed the most commonly used app portal of all, its not an option for Texas public colleges (e.g. Texas Tech, UT Austin, et al). Outside of the University of California system, however, most of the big-name colleges that might come to mind do use the Common Application.

This is why you want to look at it now, and another reason: the Common Aplication essay prompts are up, so you can compare them, to the UT main essay. And there are other good schools in Texas among the Common App’s 800-plus clients, including Baylor, Rice, and TCU, not to mention those dozens of schools you have heard of and likely want to apply to outside of Texas.

So our focus on the Common App in this post is aimed at the possibility of reusing an essay on two or more portals.

Why You Should Look at Reusing Essays

The typical person applying to 10 colleges will generally use at least one main, longer essay of 550-650 words, and a series of supplementals. This means that you could easily write 20 essays for 10 apps–or 30. Most of these supplemental essays will be shorter than the 550-650 word main essays, but still–the more chance you have to reuse material, the more efficiently you can move through the work. And the workload, once school starts, can be quite extreme. With all the variables up in the air for this year, saving some labor on essays is a good idea.

I want to add before you go on to the rest of this post, and taking a look at the essay prompts, that there is one caveat–the various essay checking software programs, like Turnitin, will flag repeat uses of essays, and the use of such software is becoming more widespread–either through the adoption of Turnitin or other options, like in-house algorithms at some schools. Noting that it’s not really possible to plagiarize yourself, the focus here is on being sincere in your appeal to your target schools, and crafting the majority of supplemental essays carefully to suit your targets. But you need to balance this with the knowledge that, in the contemporary application scene, most students applying to selective and super selective colleges apply to ten or more universities, and they almost all reuse some degree of material. I will discuss fine tuning strategy on this in a later post.

Pay Attention to Word Count Limits in Essays

In addition to looking at the essay prompts, you should note that there are some differences in the word counts allowed–if you use the Coalition site, they suggest no more than 550 words; the Common Application allows no more than 650 words, and that is a firm limit; and for U Texas, I suggest 550 to no more than 650 words. (I’ve seen essays of up to 700 plus words accepted through the UT section of the Apply Texas application portal in the past, but suggest shooting for 550 as your max in your Texas main, which of course is the max word count suggested on the Coalition App.)

Many Application Essay Prompts Will Be The Same As Last Year

Whether they have reached perfection or just can’t get a revision done in this Covid-disrupted year, all three of the portals we have discussed will be using the essay prompts they had up last year. Please don’t take this as a green light to imitate your older sibling’s essays from last year, however–that essay scanning software I discussed is one reason. Being yourself and doing your own thing is another.

Let’s take a look at Texas first, then I will compare Texas prompt A to the current Common Application prompts to show you how to save a lot of work by reusing an essay or two–

2020 through Spring 2021: University of Texas Essay Prompt A

ApplyTexas Essay Prompt A

Guidelines for Essay Topic A—350-ca. 750 words, recommend aiming for 550 words.

Texas Essay Topic A (For U.S., applicants, as well as Transient, Readmit, and Transfer International applicants): Tell us your story. What unique opportunities or challenges have you experienced throughout your high school career that have shaped who you are today?

This is the definition of a “personal” essay question, and it overlaps with a range of essay prompts required by other universities. It also overlaps with most of the Common Application prompts, depending on the angle you take–and when you can use one essay for two applications, that is a must-do opportunity. Just take a look at the Common Application prompts, which in the main define a more specific angle on the same broad prompt for how your experience has shaped who you are.

You just want to be sure your focus is on the last few years/high school, but keeping the focus on ongoing and recent experience is a rule of thumb in college essays anyhow–as opposed to writing about that deeply felt experience in elementary school. Generally skip those, unless they initiated or motivated activities that are still ongoing in high school, particularly if they continue today.

A Few Words About Social Justice Topics

One specific comment on topics at this point: Most college counselors advise against putting controversial, editorial-page topics at the center of college essays, but in my opinion, this year is different. Social justice, a perennial but undervalued subplot in American life, has come to the fore as the main focuses in recent months for most of you, for reasons I do not need to review here.

If you are genuinely engaged in the movement for equality and social change, this could be a good topic. Just be sure this is a real commitment for you personally, with some roots, as no doubt quite a few people will choose to write about this as the challenge or experience they faced, or the belief (system) they challenged in college essays in 2020-21. This is a challenging topic, and you need to avoid preaching to the converted (as well as the unconverted) and you really want to be wary of name calling and oversimplification, particularly of solutions. And of course, eschew cynicism. Click my tag for Social Justice at either the top of bottom of this post to see some other discussions of social justice topics over the years.

Now let’s take a look at how closely the Common Application overlaps with the focus of the Texas main essay.

Comparing the University of Texas and Common Application Essay Prompts

In addition to the quick comparison of prompts below, I have recently posted on how to brainstorm/start the Common Application Prompts for 2020-2021. I have also looked compared the Common Application Prompts to the Coalition Application, here: Coalition App Versus Common App Essays.

Common Application Prompts for 2020/2021–compare these with the U Texas Essay A–

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Note that you would put the majority of the focus on your high school experience, with some background or lead-in, and this prompt is a match for the UT application essay A.

2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? If your high school experience included a challenge or setback you had to overcome, bingo. Also a match for the Texas application essay, option A.

3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? If this challenge occurred during your high school years, even it it did not happen on campus, just connect it the the person you are or have become and link it to some reference to your high school experience, and you are set.

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. Notice that this offers you an opportunity to look at the past or the future. For UT you’d need to background the essay in the past, but then you could always turn from that past experiene to the future, to how your education will be shaped by this and what you plan to do with that education–which is a nice way to wrap up an essay–you never want to repeat or restate your introduction in the conclusoin of a college essay–that is formulaic writing, and frowned on. Not to mention that it does not fit in a pesonal essay format.

5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. This overlaps not only with some of the other Common Application prompts, it also matches UT’s prompt A, again if you focus on this occuring during your high school years.

6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Again, if you discovered a passion in high school, or discuss one that grew during high school (usually academic, and tied to whatever you want to major in or focus on in college, for the best effect), this also ties in well with the University of Texas essay.

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. Since anything goes here, any Texas essay should also fit.

Contact Me for Editing and Essay Development

Texas has three additional, short essay responses required, and there is some variation in these (e.g. a prompt for Art and Architecture majors) and I will come back to these in the next week or two. Let me know if it was useful for you to look at comparing and reusing essays–I may look at the UT system short essays in comparison to those used by other systems if y’all hare enthusiastic about this approach. You can leave a comment, or if you are looking for essay development and essay editing, and you want the best, hands-on assistance, Contact Me. This link takes you to my business portal.

I do all the editing and coaching myself, so if you do want to create your best possible essays, contact me soon, while I still have some space available.

The Eyes of Texas

Oh, and of course, here is your bonus for this post, the University of Texas, fight song:

“The Eyes of Texas”

I once did know a president

A-way down South, in Texas.

And, always, everywhere he went,

He saw the Eyes of Texas.

The Eyes of Texas are upon you,

All the livelong day.

The Eyes of Texas are upon you,

You cannot get away.

Do not think you can escape them

At night or early in the morn —

The Eyes of Texas are upon you

’Til Gabriel blows his horn.

Sing me a song of Prexy,*

Of days long since gone by.

Again I seek to greet him,

And hear his kind reply.

Smiles of gracious welcome

Before my memory rise,

Again I hear him say to me,

“Remember Texas’ Eyes.”

*“Prexy” refers to a President, particularly a college president, and dates back to the early 19th Century, so yes, it does predate UT Austin and in fact predates the state of Texas.

(To be sung at UT football games and after a few too many fermented beverages on sundry occasions. Of course, that won’t likely happen this year, but we can hope for the 2021 season, when you will likely be arriving on campus.)

How To Write A 500 Word College Application Essay–An Exercise In Editing

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One of the greatest challenges in writing an application essay is the length demanded by the Common App and most universities:  500 words  (or less).  For many applicants, this is akin to writing a perfect Italian sonnet about their lives–or boiling their lives down to a haiku.  But if your initial essay has “good bones,” meaning a good central narrative or description and good structure, you should be able to  pare down your language to come up with an excellent final draft.

The 500 word limit is not like a deadly force field, of course–your essay won’t be obliterated or cast aside if you are a few words over –but the fundamental rule is clear: the more words over the limit, the more you risk irritating the reader and the more they will expect from the essay.  As one app officer has said, it really “raises the bar” if the essay is too long, and the longer it is, the higher the leap, so to speak.

So don’t get hung up on every word as if there were only one possible version of your essay in the entire universe.  If you start your essays early, you will have plenty of time to play with them.  Once you have a good draft, good editing is paramount.  You want to create clean sentences, use the most precise vocabulary possible and cut out repetition.  One well-chose word can replace a phrase or even a sentence.

To show you what I mean, I will edit and vastly cut down the much longer essay we discussed in my last post.  It will be helpful to see the last post and read the essay before continuing.

To continue,  I will take that (very) long and brilliant essay linked and discussed in the last post and distill from it a small excerpt; this excerpt will be a mini-version of the original, but will still be hundreds of words too long (874 words, to be precise) so I will edit it again, showing my editing marks, and then end with a third version of 500 words.  This final essay could be used equally as well for an intellectual experience essay or a personal influence essay.

Tearing down and rebuilding a long and brilliant essay by a real pro may seem like a kind of party trick, but in reality this is what good editors do all the time for journalists,  essayists and novelists.

Version 1, below, is an excerpt from the original, longer essay; version 2 is the edited example of that excerpt; and version 3 is the result, in which the excerpt has been editing down to become a 500 word application essay.

Version 1

An excerpt from a much longer essay on the comic book superhero

This is a cut-down version of the original,  with no other editing changes.

When I was a boy, I had a religious-school teacher named Mr. Spector, whose job was to confront us with the peril we presented to ourselves. Jewish Ethics was the name of the class. We must have been eight or nine.

Mr. Spector used a workbook to guide the discussion; every Sunday, we began by reading a kind of modern parable or cautionary tale, and then contended with a series of imponderable questions. One day, for example, we discussed the temptations of shoplifting; another class was devoted to all the harm to oneself and to others that could be caused by the telling of lies. Mr. Spector was a gently acerbic young man with a black beard and black Roentgen-ray eyes. He seemed to take our moral failings for granted and, perhaps as a result, favored lively argument over reproach or condemnation. I enjoyed our discussions, while remaining perfectly aloof at my core from the issues they raised. I was, at the time, an awful liar, and quite a few times had stolen chewing gum and baseball cards from the neighborhood Wawa. None of that seemed to have anything to do with Mr. Spector or the cases we studied in Jewish Ethics. All nine-year-olds are sophists and hypocrites; I found it no more difficult than any other kid to withhold my own conduct from consideration in passing measured judgment on the human race.

The one time I felt my soul to be in danger was the Sunday Mr. Spector raised the ethical problem of escapism, particularly as it was experienced in the form of comic books. That day, we started off with a fine story about a boy who loved Superman so much that he tied a red towel around his neck, climbed up to the roof of his house, and, with a cry of “Up, up, and away,” leaped to his death. There was known to have been such a boy, Mr. Spector informed us—at least one verifiable boy, so enraptured and so betrayed by the false dream of Superman that it killed him.

The explicit lesson of the story was that what was found between the covers of a comic book was fantasy, and “fantasy” meant pretty lies, the consumption of which failed to prepare you for what lay outside those covers. Fantasy rendered you unfit to face “reality” and its hard pavement. Fantasy betrayed you, and thus, by implication, your wishes, your dreams and longings, everything you carried around inside your head that only you and Superman and Elliot S! Maggin (exclamation point and all, the principal Superman writer circa 1971) could understand—all these would betray you, too. There were ancillary arguments to be made as well, about the culpability of those who produced such fare, sold it to minors, or permitted their children to bring it into the house.

These arguments were mostly lost on me, a boy who consumed a dozen comic books a week, all of them cheerfully provided to him by his (apparently iniquitous) father. Sure, I might not be prepared for reality—point granted—but, on the other hand, if I ever found myself in the Bottle City of Kandor, under the bell jar in the Fortress of Solitude, I would know not to confuse Superman’s Kryptonian double (Van-Zee) with Clark Kent’s (Vol-Don). Rather, what struck me, with the force of a blow, was recognition, a profound moral recognition of the implicit, indeed the secret, premise of the behavior of the boy on the roof. For that fool of a boy had not been doomed by the deceitful power of comic books, which after all were only bundles of paper, staples, and ink, and couldn’t hurt anybody. That boy had been killed by the irresistible syllogism of Superman’s cape.

One knew, of course, that it was not the red cape any more than it was the boots, the tights, the trunks, or the trademark “S” that gave Superman the ability to fly. That ability derived from the effects of the rays of our yellow sun on Superman’s alien anatomy, which had evolved under the red sun of Krypton. And yet you had only to tie a towel around your shoulders to feel the strange vibratory pulse of flight stirring in the red sun of your heart.

I, too, had climbed to a dangerous height, with my face to the breeze, and felt magically alone of my kind. I had imagined the streak of my passage like a red-and-blue smear on the windowpane of vision. I had been Batman, too, and the Mighty Thor. I had stood cloaked in the existential agonies of the Vision, son of a robot and grandson of a lord of the ants. A few years after that Sunday in Mr. Spector’s class, at the pinnacle of my career as a hero of the imagination, I briefly transformed myself (more about this later) into a superpowered warrior-knight known as Aztec. And all that I needed to effect the change was to fasten a terry-cloth beach towel around my neck.

It was not about escape, I wanted to tell Mr. Spector, thus unwittingly plagiarizing in advance the well-known formula of a (fictitious) pioneer and theorist of superhero comics, Sam Clay. It was about transformation.

Version 2

An Edited Version–You can see the version above under the editing marks, and you can see the 500-word version emerging.  

When I was a boy, I had a religious-school teacher named Mr. Spector, whose job was to confront us with the peril we presented to ourselves. Jewish Ethics was the name of the class. We must have been eight or nine.

Mr. Spector used a workbook to guide the discussion; every Sunday, we began by reading a kind of modern parable or cautionary tale, and then contended with a series of imponderable questions. One day, for example, we discussed the temptations of shoplifting; another class was devoted to all the harm to oneself and to others that could be caused by of the telling of lies lying. Mr. Spector was a gently acerbic young man with a black beard and black Roentgen-ray eyes. He seemed to take our took our moral failings for granted, and, perhaps as a result, favored favoring lively argument over reproach or condemnation. I enjoyed our discussions, while remaining perfectly aloof at my core from the issues they raised. though I was, at the time, an awful liar, and quite a few times had stolen chewing gum and baseball cards. from the neighborhood Wawa. None of that seemed to have anything to do with Mr. Spector or the cases we studied in Jewish Ethics, for all nine-year-olds are sophists and hypocrites; I found it no more difficult than any other kid to withhold my own conduct from consideration in passing measured judgment on the human race.

The one time I felt my soul to be in danger was the Sunday Mr. Spector raised the ethical problem of escapism, particularly as it was experienced in the form of comic books. That day, we started off with a fine story about a boy who loved Superman so much that, he tied  with a red towel around his neck, he climbed up to the roof of his house, and, with a cry of “Up, up, and away,” leaped to his death. There was known to have been   —at least one verifiable such a boy,boy, Mr. Spector informed us, so enraptured and so betrayed by the false dream of Superman that it killed him.

The explicit lesson of the story was that what was found between the covers of a comic books was were fantasies, and “fantasy” meant pretty lies., the consumption of which failed to prepare you for what lay outside those covers. Fantasy rendered you unfit to face “reality” and its hard pavement. Fantasy betrayed you, and thus, by implication, your wishes, and your dreams and longings, everything you carried around inside your head that only you and Superman and Elliot S! Maggin (exclamation point and all, the principal Superman writer circa 1971) could understand—all these would betray you, too. There were ancillary arguments to be made as well, about the culpability of those who produced such fare, sold it to minors, or permitted their children to bring it into the house. These arguments were mostly lost on me, a boy who consumed a dozen comic books a week, all of them cheerfully provided to him by his (apparently iniquitous) father. Sure, I might not be prepared for reality—point granted—but, on the other hand, if I ever found myself in the Bottle City of Kandor, under the bell jar in the Fortress of Solitude, I would know not to confuse Superman’s Kryptonian double (Van-Zee) with Clark Kent’s (Vol-Don). Rather, What struck me, with the force of a blow, was recognition, a profound moral recognition of the implicit, indeed the secret, premise of the behavior of the boy on the roof:  . For that fool of a boy had not been doomed by the deceitful power of comics books, which after all were only bundles of paper, staples, and ink, and couldn’t hurt anybody. That boy had been killed by the irresistible syllogism of Superman’s cape.

One knew, Of course, that it was not the red cape any more than it was the boots, or the tights  the trunks, or the trademark “S” that gave allowed Superman the ability to fly. That ability derived from the effects of the rays of our yellow sun on Superman’s alien anatomy, which had evolved under the red sun of Krypton. And yet you had only to tie a towel around your shoulders to feel the strange vibratory pulse of flight stirring in the red sun of your heart. I, too, had climbed to a dangerous height, with my face to the breeze, and felt magically alone of my kind. I had imagined the streak of my passage, like a red-and-blue smear on the windowpane of vision. I had been Batman, too, and the Mighty Thor. I had stood cloaked in the existential agonies of the Vision, son of a robot and grandson of a lord of the ants. A few years after that Sunday in Mr. Spector’s class, at the pinnacle of my career as a hero of the imagination, I briefly transformed myself (more about this later) into a superpowered warrior-knight known as Aztec. And all that I needed to effect the change was to fasten a terry-cloth beach towel around my neck.  It was not about escape, I wanted to tell Mr. Spector, thus unwittingly plagiarizing in advance the well-known formula of a (fictitious) pioneer and theorist of superhero comics, Sam Clay. It was about transformation through imagination.

Version 3:  A 500-Word Intellectual Experience or Personal Influence essay.

When I was a boy, I had a religious-school teacher named Mr. Spector, whose job was to confront us with the peril we presented to ourselves. Jewish Ethics was the name of the class. We must have been eight or nine.

Mr. Spector used a workbook to guide the discussion; every Sunday, we read a kind of modern parable and then contended with a series of imponderable questions. One day, for example, we discussed the temptations of shoplifting; another class was devoted to all the harm of lying. Mr. Spector took our moral failings for granted, favoring lively argument over condemnation. I enjoyed our discussions, though I was, at the time, an awful liar, and had stolen chewing gum and baseball cards. None of that seemed to have anything to do with the cases we studied in Jewish Ethics, for all nine-year-olds are sophists.

The one time I felt my soul to be in danger was the Sunday Mr. Spector raised the ethical problem of escapism, particularly in the form of comic books. That day, we started off with a story about a boy who loved Superman so much that, with a red towel around his neck, he climbed up to the roof of his house, and, with a cry of “Up, up, and away,” leaped to his death. There was such a boy, Mr. Spector informed us, so enraptured by the false dream of Superman that it killed him.

The explicit lesson of the story was that comic books were fantasies, and “fantasy” meant pretty lies.  Fantasy rendered you unfit to face “reality” and its hard pavement. Fantasy betrayed you  and your dreams. These arguments were mostly lost on me, a boy who consumed a dozen comic books a week, all of them cheerfully provided to him by his (apparently iniquitous) father. Sure, I might not be prepared for reality——but if I ever found myself in the Bottle City of Kandor, under the bell jar in the Fortress of Solitude, I would know not to confuse Superman’s Kryptonian double (Van-Zee) with Clark Kent’s (Vol-Don). What struck me was a profound recognition of the implicit premise of  the boy on the roof:   that fool of a boy had not been doomed by the deceitful power of comics which after all were only paper, staples, and ink. That boy had been killed by the irresistible syllogism of Superman’s cape.

Of course, it was not the red cape any more than the boots or the tights  that allowed Superman to fly. And yet you had only to tie a towel around your shoulders to feel the strange vibratory pulse of flight stirring in your heart. I, too, had climbed to a dangerous height, and felt magically alone. I had imagined the streak of my passage, a red-and-blue smear on the windowpane of vision. I had been Batman, too. And all that I needed to effect the change was to fasten a terry-cloth beach towel around my neck.  It was not about escape, I wanted to tell Mr. Spector: it was about personal transformation through imagination.

The Significant Experience Essay: More Ideas

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In my last post, I discussed what is know as The Significant Experience Essay, which appeared, among other places, in Prompt 1 of the Common Application Personal Statement for 2011-2012. Possibly you’ve done the prewriting exercise I recommended in the last post, and you may even now have an essay in hand and are looking for further assistance. I do provide proofreading and editing services through Mr. B’s Flying Essay Service (rush jobs) and Wordguild Writing Services, both remotely (via e-mail) and in person within a limited geographical area. See the About section of this blog site for more information on those services.  In this post I will discuss how to continue developing ideas for this Significant Experience Essay and will suggest a couple of places to look for examples of Significant Experience essays or descriptions.

In this post, I will offer some suggestions for those who may want to write about a significant personal experience  but have trouble coming up with much when asked to list their achievements, risks or ethical dilemmas. Refer to the last post for the details of this exercise.

I will restate the prompt and then examine each area it defines:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

These three areas could, of course, be discussed in a single essay. Perhaps you did face an ethical dilemma, took a risk to deal with it and achieved something worthy as a result. This would be a nice trifecta.

On the other hand, you might have struggled to get more than a few things listed in the prewriting exercise (e.g, made soccer team, learned to swim butterfly, reached level 10 of Kill Corps, read the Grapes of Wrath despite myself). Perhaps feel like you’ve never experienced something like a real ethical dilemma. If so, this post is for you.

You may feel that your experiences are pretty limited, but by the age of four or five, have something to say about each of the topic areas raised by this prompt. By the time you’ve even reached kindergarten, you’ve already had the important human experiences: you’ve had to decide whether to tell a lie or not (ethics), conquered many challenges (Learning how to tie your shoes and to float in a pool are both pretty big achievements) and taken many risks.

So start by considering yourself: what things in your life make up your strongest memories. What matters to you is what matters here.

For you, reading the novel Grapes of Wrath when your Junior English teacher inflicted it on you might be a great accomplishment. But surely, you say, this is not worthy of an essay.

Why not? Other writers have, in recent years, produced books about reading the French author Marcel Proust and the the Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy. You don’t even have to have read Proust or Tolstoy to enjoy these books (Find How Proust Can Change Your Life, by Alain de Botton, and Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading, by Nina Sankovitch, for examples of books about reading specific books).

But is this not an essay about books, then, you ask?  Of course it is, which makes it also suitable for something like the Harvard Supplemental Essay for 2011-2012, which asked for an essay about books, as did the Stanford 2011-2012 application.   Look for a post soon which examines how many different prompts overlap or can be addressed by the same essay–this is something you should note if you are applying to more than a few colleges.  One essay may be used to address several different prompts for different college applications, with little or no tinkering.  Of course, you will probably need several very different essays to start with–you should never turn in two essays on the same trip or the same readings, for example.

To continue with the Significant Experience essay prompt, risk topic:  perhaps you feel that you haven’t taken any real risks. The issue in this topic is defining what a risk is. Most people immediately think of physical risk, but psychological risks are everywhere, as you know if you’ve been turned down when you asked someone to a dance or you flubbed a line of a play in front of an audience. And any physically risky activity carries with it a psychological risk as well as the obvious chance of physical injury. Have you ever dropped an easy pass that would have won the game for your team and then had to deal with the disappointment–or anger–of teammates or coaches? Talk about a risk to your ego. In fact, your response to a defeat or an error you made when you took a risk is a good area for you to explore. Triumph is great, but tumbling into the pit of failure and climbing out again can be even more interesting and revealing in a college application essay.  Risk is everywhere.  Use it.

Another topic area is the ethical dilemma.  It should be relatively easy to come up with an experience for this one–ethical dilemmas present themselves every day. Ethics is a field of philosophy, but it is also a practical activity engaged in by every human living in a community. When have you had to decide between something you were taught–or felt instinctively–to be right or wrong? Small children know about this and make these decisions every time they are asked who made the mess or who broke the glass or who took the cookie. Not to mention the decisions students make about whether to study hard or to cheat on a test or assignment.

The trick in an essay on ethics is to discuss the matter with a sense of perspective and, hopefully, even humor. You may have chosen to do something unethical and then had to rectify it, which adds an element of drama to your narrative but which also adds an element of risk. You want to show, ultimately, that you are ethical. You also want to avoid appearing too uptight or self-righteous. Keep that in mind if you decide to write to this topic. A serious ethical breach may not be a wise topic here, unless you can show how you’ve changed.

Take some time to doodle on a piece of paper now if you were unable to work with the three column exercise in the last blog post and see what comes to mind when you explore your memories of risks, achievements and ethical dilemmas.